7 Days of Positive Thoughts – Day 6

Almost nearing the end of the 7 days!


Day 6 Positive Thought:  When people band together towards a goal, they can do amazing things.


Today, I participated in one of the Out of the Darkness walks that are put on by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  It is a sobering event to participate in because, as you stand in a crowd of hundreds of people, you realize that most everyone there has lost someone to suicide.

The fact that there were hundreds of people is sad.  At the same time, it is encouraging to see so many people support a cause that is often surrounded by awkwardness and overtones of shame (though it should not be).  By banding together, everyone at the walk I went to raised close to $50,000.  That is money that will go toward raising awareness and providing resources for people at risk.  It is incredible that shared tragedies can spur this much action.  That is really the beauty of the human spirit, isn’t it?


So, the Day 6 post is going to contain a bonus.  I am also going to list some things from my day that reminded me life is worth living:

  • People singing openly in a crowd, albeit potentially embarrassing, is an act of pure joy.
  • Running is starting to be fun.  Especially when running away from the joyous singers.
  • I love my running pants.  I never want to take them off.
  • Fair food is awesome.
  • Fair food is awesome. (so nice I said it twice)
  • Animals are cute.  Baby animals are off the charts cute.
  • Watching little kids watch animals reminds you of what it’s like to just live in a constant state of wonder.
  • Napping with my cats is the best thing ever.



Update on my life and other spiralling-out-of-control things…

Two posts in one day!  Is it the apocalypse??


Still no job.  As of right now, I have applied for 83 jobs.  Recently, one of my friends asked, “So, do you think 100 is the magic number here?”

Perhaps.  Let’s hope it’s not 150.

The State of NH unemployment.  Sucks.  Ass.

I am getting the maximum amount anyone can get on unemployment, and it is (after taxes) $384/week.  After I deduct my mortgage and condo fee, I am left with $233.  That $233 has to pay my phone, internet, electric, gas, food, plus anything else that comes up periodically – like an oil change or a new issue of Fangoria.

To say I have been in panic mode is like saying Sylvia Plath was a little melancholy.  I have been FREAKing.


I am a list maker.  I love lists.  I like making lists of things I need to do and then crossing off those things.  I think of things to do and then add them to the list so I can cross them off 3 minutes later.

Examples of things that have been on my list as of late:

  • Clean litter
  • Balance checkbook
  • Get a life


My cat seems fine.  For now.  He gave me a scare the other day when he started acting all weird and hiding under the bed.  I was relieved/irritated to find he had just vomited under there.


My health continues to be very good.  I did, however, play my MS card recently.  My friend Amanda assures me it is my card to play and I can play it whenever I want – and I am judicious about playing it.  But I did not feel bad about playing it this time.  At.  All.

AT&T tried to charge me a $95 early termination fee for switching over to Verizon two days before my contract officially ended.  I believe my email to customer service went something like: “I am unemployed and have multiple sclerosis and that was the only day I could go get my new phone.  Seriously??”  (This is mostly true, in a roundabout way.  It was freakishly hot that week and the heat bothers my MS.  I had to go when I was able to stand it.)

I got an almost immediate reply stating that “no” they were not going to charge the MS lady for the early termination of 48 hours.

Yeah, I didn’t think you were.


Mem-ries…….like the corners of my mind…

I went to visit my family this past weekend.  Specifically, I went to see my mom so that we could go through some things at my grandmother’s house.  She is still in her home, but does not use the upstairs and stuff is getting old and dusty from not being used.

We also took her out to lunch.


My grandmother used to be 5′ 1″ but has shrunk from age and poor posture.  She’s also legally blind and mostly deaf.  Outings consist of a lot of screaming and slow methodical movement.  When we got to the restaurant, my mother asked me to bring her in so she could enjoy a cigarette (and perhaps to mellow out after a screaming car ride).  As my grandmother took my arm in the wind, she hunkered down against me.  This made me laugh and when she caught me laughing she said, “If your grandfather was here, he would call me a humped up turd.”


You guys?  That may be the funniest expression ever in the history of the world.  And I could totally hear him saying it.  Humped up turd.  Perfect.


This prompted us to remember all my grandfather’s other pet names.  Chief among them was the phrase “goddam peckerhead” (pronounced “peckah-head”) and (my personal favorite) calling my grandmother Lo-Ass (her name is Lois).

I know it sounds like he was kind of crappy, but really these were terms of endearment.  If he did not call you something, well…you just weren’t important.


Furthermore…my grandmother?  She kind of deserved it.  When we sat down in the restaurant a girl walked by and asked my grandmother, “Can I take your cane and hang it up so no one trips on it?”  To which my grandmother replied, “I’d rather have someone trip on it.”  The girl laughed.  My grandmother gave the girl a nice little grimace to give the impression she was joking, but… my mother and I passed a glance – we knew she was not joking.   Lo-Ass indeed.


Anyway, I love my family.  Not in spite of the mean streak, but because of it.  🙂