Don’t call me, I’ll call you. And by that, I mean I won’t. – UPDATED

Conversation between me and the person who called my home phone for a political survey:

(For the record, they call my house in the evenings every half hour until I pick up the phone.  I have asked twice to be removed from the call list.)


Unsuspecting Survey Person: “Hello, may I speak to Heather?”

Me: “No.  Sorry.”

USP: “We are doing a political survey of people in your area.”

Me: “Still no.”

USP: “When might we call back to speak to her?”

Me: “Probably not ever.”

USP: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Probably not ever.  As in, NEVER.”

USP: “Ooooh….There would be no follow up call after the survey.”

Me: “Ok, then.  Bu-byyyyyyyyye.”


I know.  I am cranky and don’t feel well.  But, honestly?  STOP FUCKING CALLING MY HOUSE.



Someone from this line called me again.  Just now.  (Every half hour, like I said.)

Here’s how that conversation went:

Stupid Asshole Caller: “Hello, may I speak to Heather?”

Me: “Someone from this number just called me a half hour ago.”

SAC: “Yes, well we are doing a survey in your area…”

Me: “Someone from this number called me a half hour ago”

SAC: “It is very important to us to have your input to…”

Me: “You people call me every half hour all the time.”

SAC: “I am sorry about that, ma’am.  But once you do this survey, we will no longer…”


SAC: “I know ma’am.  I was asked to call you back…”


SAC: “Ok.  Thank you.”


Now let’s see if they call in another half hour.  I think I’ll go get my whistle.


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