not freaking out…yet

One of my favorite bloggers, The Bloggess, recently posted a link to an article she wrote for oprah.com.  The subject of her article is how she copes with anxiety.

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This got me thinking about how I cope with anxiety.  Let me be clear, though.  I do not have a crippling form of anxiety, and do not claim to go through what people go through who struggle with this every day.  But, right now, being unemployed, I am feeling anxious.  About a lot of things.  Not all of them employment related either.  It’s as if when something goes wrong in your life, it roots up all the other wrong things – and you can run the risk of wallowing in all that is wrong with your existence.

So, how do I cope with anxiety?  I don’t really.  Instead of coping with it, I treat it like a bad puppy.  “Bad Anxiety!  You chewed the couch!  Outside with you!”

I act as if anxiety is an intruder, instead of perhaps a red flag for a very realistic situation.  Because sometime it is.  Sometimes it isn’t.  But sometimes it is.  Like when Anxiety says, “Get a job!”  To which I tell it to stop peeing on the carpet.

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The best (worst) part of all is that being anxious about my employment situation?  DOES NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO HELP IT.  I recognize this, and so I continue to pretend that I cannot picture a day when all my money runs out.

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My best coping mechanism by far is to surround myself with objects I love.  Because when you have things to look at or touch, it gives concrete shape to fears.  I can hold onto something and think “I still have this”.

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All in all, I am doing well.  But I feel like this ability to “do well” has a shelf life that is directly proportional to how long I can pay my mortgage.

In the meantime, anxiety can kiss my white dimpled butt.

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