Mixing up my phrases and whatnot…and being a douche.

Last night, I went to Barnes & Noble (my mecca) with a friend.  When we arrived, we had a couple of choices for parking, and we decided that we would take “the pull through” spot (the spot that you pull through to from the space behind it so that you are facing out of the spot – ready to go).

And the conversation actually went like that – “wanna take that one or the pull through?”

Then…

we both said that “the pull through” sounded like it could be a sexual euphemism of some sort.

And the conversation went like this:

Me: “It sounds like something dirty.”

Friend: “I know!”

Me: “You know, it sounds like you’re saying something like….fruit salad.”

.

Fruit salad.

.

?????

.

And my friend rolled with it (mainly because she had no fucking clue what I was talking about) and laughed and said, “yeah, you’re right.”

.

But, then I thought…what the fuck is “fruit salad” a euphemism for?

Answer: It’s not a euphemism for anything.  (Well, not that I am aware of anyway.)

.

Then it dawned on me.  And I said, “Nope, sorry.  I am mixing up my euphemisms.”

I then explained to my friend that what I meant to say was “tossing the salad“.  And I mixed that up with another colorful euphemism – “the fruit cup“.

.

Silly me.

.

We laughed and 3 1/2 minutes later, still giddy from all the weird euphemisms, we were in the bookstore and looking at magazines.  My friend looked at an entertainment magazine featuring The Hunger Games and I looked at a cerebral pompous film critique magazine (yes, I bought it), and an Asian gentleman was on his blue tooth looking at magazines near the floor.  We started discussing the upcoming Hunger Games film, at which point the Asian gentleman looked up, gestured toward my friend, said, “Nice [something in a heavy Asian accent]”, and then walked away.

.

My friend looked at me and said, “What did he just say?”

I looked at her and, with all the solemnity I could muster, whispered, “He said ‘nice tits‘”.

Her face went blank for a second before she realized I was being a shit and said, “No, he did not!”

I said, “You don’t know that.  He might have said nice tits.  He may have even asked for a fruit salad.”

.

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