Urethra of Steel

So, I am currently dealing with more health issues with my cat Don Vito.

It involves a UTI (something he will be susceptible to getting for the rest of his life due to the reconstructive surgery that sort of made him Don Evita) and giving him meds (akin to wrestling a small pig) and has me a bit worried.  Apparently, Don Vito’s infections are as hard core as they come.  I think they could use bacteria from his genitourinary system in biological warfare.

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Now they need to culture his urine (to figure out what tenacious strain has got a hold of him).  To do this, they need a full bladder.

I will be dropping him off at 8:00am this Friday and if his bladder is not full, they need to keep him all day in order to get a full bladder.

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Here’s my problem:

Vito is a nervous little cat.  Very friendly, but nervous.  This is the cat that, when the heating guy was in my house all day doing an installation, retched repeatedly two feet away.  I feel like every time I take him to the vet he gets worse for the wear.

So, I called the vet’s office to find out if I could avoid a prolonged stay (and avoid Vito acting like an abused prisoner for days afterward).  They told me my only option (to make sure Vito had a full bladder at 8am) was to take away his litter box the night before.

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Um…

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I told them I have another cat.  They told me that I would then need to lock Vito in a room away from the other cat and the litter box.

Okay, so there’s a couple things wrong with this:

1) I think this is actually going to be physically painful for him.  He tries to pee a lot and I think, if he cannot even try, it will hurt.

2) I am pretty sure my cat is not above peeing on the floor.

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Oh, and did I mention yet?  He is a nervous wreck.

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So, I told the vet’s office I’d see but…I doubt I can pull that off.  I then asked them how they get a full bladder when they have him all day.  I said, “What do you do?  Make sure he drinks water and then not let him pee?”

Her reply: “Well, he’s in a crate.  Not like a carrier, where he is enclosed, it’s a crate that’s open.  And it’s open on the bottom so that if he does pee…Um… Well, he’s monitored constantly.”

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I chose to ignore the fact that she did not answer the question.

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Then I asked what the vet (she was not the vet, btw – my vet is not this dim) expected to find.  You know, did he have an aim in mind for what he was going to culture?

Her reply: “Well, it’s hard to say…”

Me: “Okay, do you guys do the culture right there in house?”

Her: “Well, we did it in house last time you were here.”

Me: “No, last time I was there you just did a urinalysis.”

Her: “Right.  Well, if we don’t do it here, you will get results within 24 hours.”

* sigh *

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So, I guess what I am getting at is that this call was a waste of my time.  And if you got this far, then this blog post was probably a waste of your time.  You can thank Don Vito for that.

Did someone say "party"? *barf-gak-barf*

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1 Comment

  1. Tara

     /  January 11, 2012

    Buddy,
    I am sorry Don Vito is not feeling well. I had the opposite issue with my gal. She got so violent at the vet that techs always took her to the secret room while wearing falcon gloves And taking burlap bags. I had to have her put down on christmas eve & still devestated. Hope he gets better. I had mine for 16 years & I miss her so much. Xo xo

    Reply

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