Christmas Spirit, bitches.

I have decided that I am going to be festive this Christmas season.  IF IT KILLS ME.

I googled “Christmas spirit” to see what other things I could be doing to be spreading the yuletide joy.  I found this link.

I am going to make my own comparable list.

1)  How about not shopping at all for Christmas?  Or how about curbing that spending by a few thousand dollars?  Because nothing sucks the holiday spirit out of me more than people fussing over what gifts to get people.  Give people gifts all year long when you think of them – then we would not have this insanity every year.  Besides, frankly, fighting for parking and punching people in crowds is one of my favorite pastimes.

2)  It’s a great idea to be nice to people!  But this is not reserved for only at Christmas.  (Unless you’re me, and then avoid people so you don’t spit on them out of sheer spite.)

3)  If you drop money into the Salvation Army bucket, make it a folded bill of some kind.  One dollar bills are fine.  It’s just that, when you are coming out of the grocery store with a cart full of American excess, the tinkle of change dropping into a bucket makes you look like a giant ass nugget.

4)  By all means, do something nice for someone.  But again…this is not reserved for only at Christmas.  And make sure at least one of your nice things is to shut the hell up for once.

5)  Volunteering is great!  But I also want to suggest that organizations get their shit together and make it so that volunteering can happen around people’s lives.  I’d love to volunteer the 10-11am Tuesday time slot the American Cancer Society has available, but I can’t.  Because I have a job.

6)  Food drives are a great idea!  But I have always wondered why the drives don’t include asking people to donate can openers.  Would kinda suck to get a bunch of cans and have to bang them with a rusty hammer just to suck the stuff out of ’em.

7)  Christmas music is nice.  But, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, could the constant stream of holiday music in stores start later than November 15?  Because, by the time Christmas comes, the river of monotony has deadened my hypothalamus.

8 )  I am not sure what constitutes a Christmas movie, but when I watch “28 Days Later” I feel like there is hope for mankind.

9)  Regarding the suggestion to read “A Christmas Carol”: is it necessary?  Will reading it put us any more in the spirit than watching Albert Finney, Patrick Stewart, or Jim Carrey (to name only 3 of roughly 50+ actors) act it out?  I think not.  I am partial to the Albert Finney version, btw.

10)  Decorate your house!  And tree!  And your pets!  And put giant blowup stuff in your yard!

11)  See #1 above.  Please.

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  1. Gifts, How Do You Decide? | IT's My Thoughts

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