Things I might say out loud when driving…

“Nice [lack of] directional, motherfucker.”

“You are the worst driver in the history of the universe.”

“Even a school bus is going faster than you, douche.”

“Why don’t you back off, douchenozzle.”

“You’re a dick, douche guzzler.”


[“Douche” is my go-to word, apparently.]


“You have GOT to be kidding me, motherfucker.”

“I swear I will fucking ram you with my car.”

“You are the biggest piece of shit in the world.”

“Yes, why don’t you fucking cut me off.  I love that shit.”

“Oh, HELL no.”


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