Random Thoughts – part one

1. This might be the winter I tackle “Anna Karenina”.  Hello, sad life, and welcome.

2. The whole woods around where I live smells like pot.  Why??  And why don’t I ever find any random joints lying around?

3. A ridiculously high percentage of the population is obese yet every guy on dating sites describes his body type as “athletic”.  I find this hard to believe.  Unless maybe they really are “athletic” and their inability to relax and chow down at an all-you-can-eat buffet has deterred mates (it would deter me).

4. I freely admit that I thought the Maroon 5 lyric was “move my jacket” rather than Moves Like Jagger.  I envisioned a chivalrous world where men moved their jackets aside for women to sit down.  I am so disappointed.

5. Microwaves that blow hot air out a vent in the side scare the bejesus out of me.  I confess I don’t stand in front of them because I am convinced they are frying my brain cells or ovaries (depending on where the microwave is positioned).

6. Lots of men on dating sites (and maybe women too… who the fuck knows) describe themselves as “down to earth”.  As if it is an appealing trait (or as if they even know what the hell that means).  I am looking for the guy who describes himself as “a crazy fucking nutbag with my head in the stratosphere…come find me on my spaceship, Uhura!”

7. Every time I am on a conference call and someone mentions that the project has a “lot of balls in the air”, I immediately picture a basket of testicles thrown skyward to create a rain of scrotum.

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  1. Random Thoughts – part two « Hormones on Parade

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