At the tone, you will be the 47th person to join the call…

One of the many downfalls of working in an “office” setting is the CONFERENCE CALL.

I won’t even delve into what makes the call itself unbearable… soft talkers, loud talkers, mumblers, and so on.


It’s just…getting on the call that is the worst part.  I try to dial in about a minute before the call starts because it seems to take forever for my passcode to be accepted.  I punch in 6 digits and then WAIT.  Then a weird automated voice says “your passcode has been accepted”.



As if this somehow validates me.


It takes even longer if I bungle the buttons on the phone and I have to be told that my passcode is NOT accepted.  THE HORROR.

Then I find myself frantically speed dialing, thereby further increasing my chances of fat fingering those buttons.

In any event, I need to be on the call promptly because, if I am not, I will be the 6th, 7th, or even 15th participant.

Why is this a problem?  Because I HATE, HATE, HATE being caught in what I like to call “the roll call clusterfuck“.



Here’s how it goes…

Moderator: “Ok, who do I have on the line?”

15 people: “chulisbobmardonedkel…”

Moderator: “I’m sorry…who do I have on the line?”

(30 second pause)

15 people: “chulisbobmardonedkel…”

Moderator: “What was that again?  I heard Lisa…who else?”


14 people: “chubobmardonedkel…”



At this point I have usually given up.  I just wait for people to hash it out and then halfway through the call I’ll gleefully call out, “Heather’s here!”

This is way better than what I used to do – which was compete for Loudest Participant in the Roll Call Clusterfuck…



Moderator: “Ok, who do I have on the line?”

15 people: “HEATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!……..




Really, it’s best to be on the call before anyone else, even before the moderator.  Unless you have one of those lines where everyone is on hold until the moderator joins the call.  Then you’re screwed, chulisbobmardonedkel.


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1 Comment

  1. Colleen

     /  May 24, 2011

    Yeah, low talkers and mumblers…hate ’em…..and the ones rolling their eyes at each person’s report. You can’t see them, but I swear you can hear an eye roll in a person’s voice.


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